Melissa Coulier and Melanie Samuels, co-founders of Live Well Lead Well, share strategies to help mothers release guilt, embrace flexibility, and integrate sustainable self-care into their lives.
What are the most common challenges you see mothers facing today when it comes to balancing their personal well-being with professional responsibilities?
Melissa Coulier: The most common challenge we see mothers facing today is the guilt attached to the idea of balancing work and well-being. In fact, the pressure is rooted in the word itself. “Balance” often implies a romanticized state that’s ultimately unattainable, and the weight of trying to achieve it can lead to persistent guilt. For many women, it never feels like enough at work, at home, or anywhere in between. We believe the tension stems from two things: the myth of a one-size-fits-all solution and the ongoing presence of guilt. The truth is, every mother’s reality is different depending on the season of her life, her support system, and her personal and professional responsibilities. “Balance” for one mother may be completely different for another, and that’s more than okay. It’s actually what allows women to thrive. We all bring something different to the table.
Melanie Samuels: Despite those differences, guilt remains a common thread. Guilt for missing a meeting because your child was sick. Guilt for missing a school event because of a work obligation. Guilt for not being fully present in either space. Too often, this guilt pushes self-care to the back burner. When mothers are constantly pouring into everyone else’s needs, it can leave little time, energy, or most importantly, permission to tend to their own. If the word “balance” feels like a permanent fixture on your resolution list, know this: You’re not alone, and you’re not doing it wrong. You’re navigating a lot, and you’re showing up in more ways than you think!
How has the mental and emotional load of working motherhood evolved over the past few years, especially in light of remote work, economic shifts, and caregiving demands?
MS: The pandemic marked a real turning point, giving rise to what we know as “the hybrid work era.” This shift brought both increased awareness and new challenges. On the positive side, it sparked more conversations about mental health and emotional labor, specifically what some experts refer to as “invisible labor burnout” (the ongoing planning, organizing, and emotional processing that often falls disproportionately on mothers). While the option to work from home seemingly offers more flexibility, it also can intensify the pressure placed on women. There’s an expectation to always be “on,” constantly multitasking between professional responsibilities and home life. This has led many mothers to feel overextended, falling short in both areas. The physical and emotional boundaries that once helped compartmentalize work from home have become harder to protect. When someone is at home, that doesn’t mean they’re available 24/7, yet it’s easy for colleagues or clients to assume otherwise. The constant accessibility can creep into sacred family time, self-care, and rest, all of which are essential for your well-being.
MC: Caregiving has also become more complex — not only more expensive due to economic shifts, but harder to access and more in demand. Whether that be childcare or care for an elder family member, the logistical strain only compounds the emotional exhaustion that so many mothers are already carrying. Also, the mental load has become constant. Even in moments of rest, the brain keeps scanning: “Did I forget something? Am I letting someone down? I can’t forget to call the pediatrician in the morning. Do I have enough eggs for tomorrow’s breakfast?” Being at home, in a space that has once offered separation from work, has in many ways blurred the lines.
In your experience, what are some overlooked or underestimated barriers that prevent working mothers from prioritizing their own health and self-care?
MC: One of the most underestimated barriers is the “all-or-nothing” mindset around wellness. The wellness industry is often packaged and sold as a glamorized aesthetic involving expensive workout gear, elaborate routines, a separate cabinet for supplements, and restrictive diets. In our experience, we’ve found this perfectionist approach makes women feel paralyzed.
MS: We remind women that health doesn’t require heroics. It starts with small, consistent wins: a five-minute walk, one nourishing meal, a deep breath before a meeting. When we reframe self-care as a daily investment, not an obligation, it becomes not only sustainable but enjoyable. As we said, we don’t believe in one-size-fits-all approaches. We embrace bio-individuality, the idea that no two bodies are the same. Every woman’s goals, schedule, priorities, and challenges are unique. When we honor that truth, especially in the realm of health and self-care, we are able to release the guilt and drop the comparison game.
MC: Another barrier we often encounter is the belief that time is a luxury. As a mother, your days can feel consumed by everyone else’s needs, leaving little room for your own. When you’re in “survival mode,” anything beyond that can feel out of reach. However, the most powerful forms of self-care are often simple and free! A quiet moment of stillness in your car before walking into the house. Using your hands in the kitchen to make something just for you. Giving yourself permission to say no to something that doesn’t serve your well-being. Laughing with your family even when the to-do list is unfinished. These small, intentional pauses and choices are how we stay connected to ourselves, even in the midst of chaos. They may be brief, but over time, they build resilience.
What practical strategies or mindset shifts have you seen help women reclaim space for themselves without guilt, both at work and at home?
MC: Reclaiming space truly starts with a shift in mindset. It begins with one powerful truth: You are allowed to adjust your expectations.
First, give yourself permission to lower your own bar. Hear us out…you’re not being defeatist! You’re being realistic. We encourage women to adjust their expectations to the reality of the season they’re in. This powerful shift helps you show up with more clarity, intention, and presence, rather than stretching yourself so thin that you miss opportunities for meaningful connection or higher-quality work. Adjusting that bar isn’t about doing less; it’s about doing what matters most, more sustainably.
Second, it’s important to claim your needs as valid. One of the biggest barriers women, especially mothers, face is the belief that tending to themselves is selfish. However, the truth is that a healthier you is a more present mom at home, a more grounded leader in the workplace, and a more productive person overall. That’s why we love helping women create personal mantras to support this mindset shift. For example, “When I fuel my body in the morning, I show up with more patience for my family and more focus for my work.” Repeat this daily to remind yourself!
Third, remember that you’re modeling self-respect every time you honor your well-being. Children are sponges! When they see you set boundaries, protect your rest, or say no to something that doesn’t align with your needs, they learn that self-worth is something to protect. The same goes for people you work with. Just as stress and burnout can ripple outward, so can groundedness and clarity. When you choose wellness and prioritize self-care, you’re not just making a personal decision; you’re creating permission for others to do the same.
If you could change one thing in the workplace to better support the well-being of working mothers, what would it be and why?
MS: One of the most impactful ways we can support working mothers is by ensuring access to affordable, reliable, and safe childcare. For many women, building a career often means stepping away from the “village,” the network of family or community support that once helped share the load. Since it’s wired into a mother’s brain chemistry to think about her children even when they’re not physically present, creating conditions that provide true peace of mind is so important. Knowing your child is in safe hands can offer more mental freedom to be present at work.
Equally important is normalizing flexibility in workplace culture, especially for mothers of young children. This could look like working from home when a child is sick, stepping out to attend a school event without fear of judgment, or adjusting hours to be home for bath time and bedtime. When flexibility is supported rather than penalized, it allows mothers to show up more meaningfully in both their professional and personal roles. If we create spaces where a mother can both grow in her career and be an involved parent (without choosing one at the cost of the other), we may begin to see a positive shift in maternal mental health and overall well-being.
More broadly speaking, promoting a wellness-minded workplace benefits everyone! Encouraging lunch breaks, walking meetings, or team wellness activities doesn’t just support each individual’s health; it offers working mothers a chance to integrate wellness into their day when it may feel impossible to fit it in outside of work hours — a true win-win!
