Working moms: You can have it all — but only if you define what that means and take the lead in building your life around it. Don’t wait for the perfect boss, benefits, or company policy. Start now.
Tina Beaty
Chief Brand and Marketing Officer, Society for Human Resource Management (SHRM)
The idea of “having it all” is often framed as either impossible or unsustainable. However, the real challenge isn’t choosing between work and life; it’s redefining success and building a shared understanding of flexibility and integration between employee and employer to make that success possible.
Having it all doesn’t mean having it all at the same second every day; this is why the concept of work/life balance is flawed. Balance implies everything is equal — 50/50. You can’t be 50% a worker and 50% a mom during the day. Some hours must be 100% working, and others 100% focused on the kids. Likewise, having it all doesn’t mean you spend your days on calls while also watching your kids at home. Go hour by hour. The goal is to collectively achieve the accelerated career you want while being a present, engaged mom.
The art of prioritization
SHRM data shows that 56% of working caregivers say they lack consistent support for caregiving duties for children. The responsibility to create an environment where working parents thrive doesn’t fall on just one side; it’s a partnership. For employers, this means providing the systems, policies, and culture to make work manageable.
However, working moms’ success should not wait for proper support systems at work. Build the environment where you thrive; others can catch up. Working parents like me take an active role in defining and advocating for success. It starts with self-reflection: What are my non-negotiables? What am I willing to flex, and what must remain fixed? How am I willing to work harder and at different times to maximize flexibility?
Prioritization is your superpower. Choose what matters — like never missing a Wednesday night Little League game — and build everything else around it. That’s not compromise; that’s control. That becomes an absolute, and the rest of your schedule works around it. Then, carve out dedicated, non-negotiable work time. Flexibility isn’t always life carving into work; often, work needs to carve into life. That’s how you have it all, all the time. Setting boundaries clearly is the difference between struggling to balance two separate roles and true work/life integration. With three active kids, I know firsthand how important setting those absolutes can be.
Building corporate support systems
That’s why setting expectations — from both sides — is essential. Creating a culture where working parents thrive doesn’t happen through policy alone. It’s built in the moments, the 1:1 conversations, the calendar adjustments, and the team norms that reassure employees they can be honest about their needs as long as they’re winning at work, too.
We all have a role to play in normalizing those conversations. Leaders must model the behavior they want to see in how they talk about boundaries, priorities, and tradeoffs. When a manager openly demonstrates work/life integration, it gives their team permission to do the same.
Every working parent’s “all” looks different, and that’s the point. We need to move away from broad assumptions and build systems allowing for individualized support. We need case-by-case solutions that drive performance without sacrificing employee absolutes. When organizations and individuals come together with honesty and mutual respect, that’s where real progress happens. It’s not about perfection, it’s about partnership.
Yes, working parents can have it all. With clarity, conversation, and shared accountability. You don’t need to wait for a flexible workplace to have a fulfilling life. Working moms are the architects of their own success. Define your “all,” then own it.
